Design Journey

 I had a dream last night, I dreamed I was doing something meaningful. It had to do with design, creation, artistic ability, and a web design class. 

The truth is, I'm scared out of my mind anytime I start something new. But in my dream everything was peaceful. I had a private room in the temple where I did the work I'm learning in my classes and felt a huge sense of gratitude and satisfaction. 

I believe that has something to do with a successful business model, it generates gratitude and satisfaction. So much about creating a business has to do with analyzing your competition. We live in a world full of envy, boastfulness, pride, and especially loud comparison.

As I go forward on my ventures I hope to do so with righteous judgement. Jesus did this. He was both humble and confident in his work. I want to be like that. So as I analyzed data this week, and scouted out other businesses for my online class, measuring my own assets and abilities I tried to do it with righteous judgement. 

I'm learning giving myself a lot of grace as a beginner is important. It's equally important not to be intimidated by those who have more experience or observatory success.  

Overall, I've learned this week, it's okay to jump in, not knowing, with faith, ready to learn, and ready to believe in what you have power to do too. 

GOOD LUCK NEXT WEEK SELF, YOU GOT THIS!

-Lynnae Emily 

standing in the corner

Seconds from screaming

ABOUT TO LOOSE MY HEAD.

Then...

a whisper inside, a deep breath, a sigh.

Forgiveness.

Calm concern.  Bright blue watered eyes looking back at mine.

Love.  Teaching.  Song.

The hand of God teaching us both.

We just need to Ask

I read something the other day that's been picking at my thoughts. 

Since there always needs to be a Mommy anology to go along with everything I talk about... here ya go:

EVER DAY Channing asks for food or a drink and starts by addressing the immediate want.  "DRINK!" or "BREAD"... ya get the picture...

I ALWAYS have to remind him "Show me how you ask polite and kind."  He proceeds, "May I Please Have...(fill in the blank)?" 

There are those times here and there when he remembers and starts with the kind mannerisms.  When he does I am beaming on the inside every time.  I know something is sinking into his heart.  I know he's on the right track and want to teach him more because of it.

So here's the thought that's been eating at me,

"He wants to give us what we ask for; sometimes He is just waiting for us to ask."
-Tonya Rowley   

My challenge to you is to remember to ask kindly, lovingly, knowing that he hears and wants you to receive.

Oh... and to click this link and listen to this -Ask in Faith-

Thy Will Be Done

“In all they ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.”

-Proverbs 3:6

There are many times when I watch my son choose to submit and trust me.  Sometimes, he relies with conviction and happily goes forward with what I direct him towards.  Other times, I have to let him cry it out and come to his own realization; that he has the ability to show faith and move forward. 

Each day Channing and I descend about 20 stairs to get to our morning destination… breakfast.  Channing has known for months and months how to walk down these stairs, holding onto each little metal rail as he goes.  Many times he simply doesn’t want to walk himself; he wants me to carry him.  He’s too tired, hungry, impatient, and knows I can speed up the process.

Sometimes I do carry him, when I sense he needs an extra measure of my love, when I understand just how hungry he is, or when I see that speeding up the process brings a more important new experience, awaiting him downstairs. 

But most of the time, I don’t carry him.  I want him to be strong.  I want him to be just like me; strong enough to teach another. 

The time it takes to learn a lesson can teach us more than the lesson itself.

Channing always shows me love, despite these struggles I often leave him to solve on his own.  In this way he is submissive.  To show love towards your creator after you’ve been afflicted takes Christ-like humility and trust.   He recognizes that I’m teaching him, by helping him but also by not helping him.

Like Channing, we have a stronger teacher who lovingly watches. 

I love the words of Job:

"Naked came I out of my mother's womb, and naked shall I return thither: the Lord gave, and the Lord hath taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord.  

In all this Job sinned not, nor charged God foolishly."

-Job 1:21&22

Linked to a Gentleman

Have you ever seen Kate and Leopold?  Well, either way go watch it… really, I love it in all its cheesiness and, you’ll understand this post better. 

Someone once told Ryan that he reminded them of Leopold.  That connection is SPOT ON genius, I’m sad I didn’t come up with it myself.  To steal a review of that movie and stick it to my husband… he’s a “delightful charmer”.  I’m positive I could write pages telling you all about it; only it would turn out very unclear, and probably wouldn’t be very interesting to you either.  So let me just try and blanket you with these thoughts on my mind.

I cannot recall any meal in my married existence when “Leopold” hasn’t reached across the table to hold my hand.  Sometimes it’s just for a brief moment, other times he grasps kindly until we’re through eating.  This morning over breakfast my son reached over and grabbed my hand and held it the entire meal; just like a little “Leopold”.  I am bound between two gentlemen, and this is something great.

There was a time when society in general portrayed most all men as gentlemen.  Unfortunately, the modern portrayal deems them as the complete opposite.  Gentlemanly behavior can even be discouraged.  How have modern women developed this antagonistic and even monstrous attitude?  Where did this perspective come from; that opening a door makes me, as a woman, feel demeaned?  Have we lost faith and trust in our men?

Too often I am bombarded with the idea that men are corporeal, inept, juvenile, and egotistical.  A highly respected and influential leader put it like this,

 “… there are those who denigrate men and their contributions.  They seem to think of life as a competition between male and female – that one must dominate the other, and now it’s the women’s turn.  Some argue that a career is everything and marriage and children should be entirely optional – therefore, why do we need men?” (Elder D. Todd Christofferson)  

At the end of Kate and Leopold, Kate discovers that she wants her gentleman more than any vocational career.  She has it in her heart to stand side by side with Leopold rather than dominate in all areas of her world.  She chooses the society that portrays men and women as they should be, giving up the modern luxuries of her world.  Yes, yes... this is a fictional story, but so is Romeo and Juliet, and everyone seems to use that to prove a point.

I believe that where gratitude is given, happiness is also found.  I recently watched a short clip (linkedhere) which validates this theory; that the happiness one enjoys is directly correlated to their level of gratitude.  Perhaps a lack of gratitude on our part as women is one reason we are so incredibly negative, towards ourselves, and our men.  When one part of life turns grey, it's easy to let others go dark as well.

Who is there when we are feeling a bit irritable? Our men... who often times become a scapegoat to their surly, defensive, and man-eating woman.  Once our motives were to walk with our men. Now, some women want to stomp them out all together.  Am I saying that we let men walk all over us? … NO.  I'm saying that we should go through our lives introspectively and gratefully.  Perhaps we will find greater security in ourselves if we, rather than being critical, will recognize and highlight the good in our men and show our gratitude in the way we live.  In doing so, I'm confident that we will find deeper joy ourselves. 

Girls… We should not feel like failures when we need help or if we can’t juggle everything under the sun!  Sometimes we (I) expect too much, and if 'things' are not accomplished, then the monster just may come out to eat everyone in her path. I love this profound advice from a caring and inspired man, counseling women using the Forget Me Not flower as a metaphor:

1.     Forget not to be patient with yourselves

2.     Forget not the difference between a good sacrifice and a foolish sacrifice

3.     Forget not to be happy now

4.     Forget not the “why” of the gospel

5.     Forget not that the Lord loves you

-Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf

I certainly need to be reminded of these truths.  I haven’t always remembered the significance of the men in my life.  Perhaps this is an underlying reason that I find myself writing so meaningfully about this topic.

DEFINITION

Gen-tle-man : a man

(No joke... This is THE definition)

We all have our own ideas of what the term gentleman means to us.  Mine is a Leopold.  Yours could be a back-woods lumberjack, a music man, the athletic type, or a Mr. Brain.  In the end, that's not what really matters.  Then what does matter?  ...Love, gratitude, trust, security, strength, passion, laughter, amusement, excitement, and devotion.  Obtaining each of these is completely dependent on us as couples, just as much as individuals.  We cannot make the other wheel turn, but we are certainly connected by that force from the axle, which definitely encourages the other wheel along.  Two wheels, connected by a strong axle, can support much more than one.

 My husband and I are linked together in so many ways.  When he is happy, I am glad.  When I am unsettled, he is troubled.  When I gained 25 lbs. during pregnancy, he put on 25 sympathy lbs. as well.  Because of our deep bond, if I believe he is a gentleman, I will treat him as a gentleman, and he will connect as such.  Though each relationship is different, we must remember; he is not a puppet and we don’t think for him, but we do think with him.  All married couples must learn to unite if they want to be successful.  Our success depends upon selfless love.

Two (of the many) fruits of love are faith and trust; these virtues are needed to empower.  Do we always remember to show that we appreciate each other?  No… but we do always come back to each other, that spells loyalty, another fruit of love.

So what is the point here … I'm not sure I know, but if there is anything you remember about this jumble of ideas I hope it's this...

Love to cherish, and cherish your love, for you may be delightfully surprised at the gentleman you find.

I capitalize "Mother" because of it's bliss

I haven't always been a Mother.  Occasionally I wonder what my neighbors think of me.  Not the adults... the children, or the teenagers that I converse with in passing.  They most likely see me as a mom, a wife, a sunday-school teacher, or a mail checker. To them, I'm one of those regular things you catch at a glimpse, like a stop sign they see, a teacher they interact with, or a spoon they use but really don't think twice about.  Please don't misunderstand. I'm not belittling stop signs, teachers, and utensils... or comparing them by any means. Simply stated, they don't question who I am.  They see me as the neighbor next door, that lady down the street, or Channing's mom.  What do I think about their perspective?  I'm okay with that.

It's completely fine for them to file me as a common face, not thinking twice about me or what my world is like. In fact, I want them to do that.  That's what childhood and adolescence is made up of.  Children need that.  We all need that; The face that reminds you of Sally, that building that looks like it could be from your child neighborhood, the color that reminds you of a wall in your parents home, or the smell that reminds you of your old school. Granted, the memories that float back to us are necessary at times, even if they are bad recollections. Sometimes the bad ones are just as important as the good.  I always want to skip the suffering, sad, or difficult part of a movie, but my husband never lets me.  He forces me to sit through it because, as he always says… "It makes the GOOD parts that much BETTER!"

We can become stronger than and wiser from those wretched, unpleasant memories! As for the good reflections, that is where joy is built.  Hope, security, and happiness can be found there.  As life goes on, new memories build on past memories.  One routine that could seem meaningless at a certain season of life can suddenly find deep significance as we add it to our memory foundation. A new layer opens; greater heights are met, while better views are seen.

Last night I had an experience that enlightened my view.  It is one that happens often, yet can be easily overlooked.  This kind of rejoicing moment has been universally enjoyed for the span of... forever I'm sure.  Despite this, it will surely be one I relish on as my hair turns silver.

There have always been parents. Have you ever thought about that?  I believe that even before we arrived here, we had parents. Not only that… but they were loving, merciful, gracious, kind, and angelic parents; the creators of our souls; all too aware of us and what we would go through.

Now, to last night… I'm cleaning up one of the rooms of our home, listening to my son and husband play and wrestle in the other room.  This sounds pretty ordinary right? Well, let me just tell you, it's not.

There is something incredible going on here. That scent of goodness is hitting me. I have just stepped to a greater height and clearer view.  I hear my son's lovable laughter… My husband’s engaging excited voice... The feeling in our home brightens as they interact. As a Mother, I keep these things and ponder them in my heart (Luke 2:19).  The depth of my smile is immeasurable. This is home… heaven on earth.

It is so easy to forget that I haven't always been a Mother.